Retainers—Life After Braces Come Off

Braces are off. Everything is hunky-dory.

Hold the phone.

Wrong.

Very wrong.

Brief and intimately seducing was the smooth and straight feeling and look of a braces-free smile. My upper braces were taken off, I had them removed. The whole thing was dead to me.

Dead wrong.

It's as if you're partying, and then the alcohol runs out. And even Jesus can't turn your water (newly straight teeth) into wine (forever straight teeth). You weren't even born that way...

Really, it's just the beginning of the next stage to a straight smile. The most important stage. Retention.

Shudder.

You've come this far, to sabotage and lose everything you gained would be mad and idiotic. So I tell myself. And I know this is true... on so many levels. The reality of it is yucky.

To keep this update brief, I went into my orthodontist yesterday to pick up my Essix retainer. I'm to wear this full-time for 3-4 months.

Excuse my language, but simply, fuck the world.

It looks pretty cool. It looks like very straight teeth. My very straight teeth. And that's not anything to be snickered at.

Damn, I could really go a Snickers... but I digress.

They don't look that bad on. Which wasn't ever my concern. Sort of.

I knew they wouldn't look that bad. They're clear, after all.

The lisping though, I really do hate. Not more than braces though, so I'll get over it, and used to it, hopefully. And soon, hopefully, too.

I do speak with a slight lisp. It's nowhere near as bad as the plate expander I had to wear in my initial treatment phases, though, that I am grateful for. I know I'll get used to it within a few weeks, just have to practice. A long phone call with my best friend is in order tonight...

I'm also noticing now, just after a day or two of wear, that my lower braces are wearing the plastic away a little, as there are rough bits on the retainer when I run my tongue across it in some places. Slightly disappointed about this, as it will annoy me, looking forward.

I also flagged a slight issue with my orthodontist because my molar teeth had a bit of the, what I refer to as dental cement, still attached, and he happily scratched it away. It's full of fluoride, too, so it's good for your teeth regardless. Gee, thanks, yeah I want rough cement on my teeth for the minuscule flouride benefits? Cool, I'll keep that in mind next time I'm an idiot...

He also said that I was brushing well because the puffiness in the gums surrounding my molar teeth had reduced since I got the impressions made, and that it's left some space in the back of the retainer around my gums. Which didn't seem an issue, let me add.

Fucking hopeless though, I don't think I'll be able to chew gum. Haven't attempted yet. I don't think I'd enjoy it, so I'm in no rush to try.

Also, and this is a very big also, it is the biggest update in my braces lifetime span, so get ready: I have a final debanding date!

This news, and more news: it's coming up sooner than expected.

And, she's over the moon!

22 November

This will be my day.

I'm getting my lower bands off about a month earlier, as they were scheduled to come off on 20 December. Some precious human being cancelled their debanding appointment. Some divine being asked me to check my next appointment dates at reception. Myself decided to ask if there definitely weren't any earlier debanding appointments. Some wonderful receptionist found a space. And my sometimes lovely orthodontist obliged to it, and took my lower impressions for my bonded retainer that same day. Life is good sometimes.

I'm really happy about this. Really happy. I'm just plain happy that they're coming off and I'll be done with braces for good.

Thank you braces—biggest love-hate relationship to-date—but you suck.

Love you.